i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
