Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
