Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
