I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
