Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I could fuck to npr.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
