see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
