I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize