i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
40s are totally the cure
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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