So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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