Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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