I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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