Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize