i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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