This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize