Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
