So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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