I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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