It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
