dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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