I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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