U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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