Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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