i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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