I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
