I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
