puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize