how can u be prego again
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
