Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested

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(708): View more from Illinois

i dedicated my morning wood to you.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones

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(540): View more from Virginia

Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.

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(785): View more from Kansas

i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.

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(214): View more from Texas

okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you

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(214): View more from Texas

I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said

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(562): View more from California

I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.

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(530): View more from California

I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie

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