Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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