After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
