Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
