If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
