We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Every concussion has its silver lining
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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