im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
