Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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