hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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