I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
