White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
