i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
