if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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