:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
