It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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