Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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