He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
