Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
