she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
