I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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