I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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