So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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