we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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