i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm bleeding and have questions
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
