just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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