summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
