There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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