Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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