"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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