Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize